Listen ter the bloomin' words of the bloomin' Great Muvver; she 'oo of ole was also called among men Artemis, Astarte, right, Affene, Dione, right, Melusine, right, Aphrodite, Cerridwen, right, Cybele, Arianrhod, Isis, Dana, Bride and by many uvver names: Wenever ye 'ave need of anyfink, right, once in the monff, and better it be wen the chuffin' moon is full, right, ffen shall ye assemble in some secret place and adore the spirit of me, right, 'oo am Queen of all the witches. There shall ye assemble, right, ye 'oo are fain ter learn all sorcery, right, yet 'ave not won its deepest secrets; ter ffese will I teach fings that are yet unknown. And ye shall be free from slaright; and as a sign that ye be right free, right, ye shall be stark bloody naked in yor rites; and ye shall dance, sin', feast, right, make music and luv, all in me praise. For mine is the chuffin' ecstasy of the spirit, right, and mine also is joy on earff; for me lor is luv unto all beings, init?Keep pure yor 'ighest ideal; strive ever towards it; let naught put the mockers on yer or turn yer aside. For mine is the secret door wich opens upon the bleedin' Land of Yerff, and mine is the bleedin' cup of the bloomin' wine of life, and the Cauldron of Cerridwen, wich is the Holy Grail of immortality. I'm the bloody Gracious Goddess, 'oo gives the gift of joy unto the bloomin' heart of man. Upon earff, right, I give the bloomin' knowledge of the spirit eternal; and beyond deaff, right, I give peace and freedom and reunion wiv them 'oo 'ave gone before. Nor do I demand aught in sacrifice; for behold, right, I'm the bleedin' Muvver of all livin', and me luv is poured out upon the earff. Hear ye the words of the Star Goddess; she in the dust of 'oose feet are the hosts of 'eaven, and 'oose body encircles the Universe. I 'oo am the bloomin' beauty of the bleedin' green earff, and the wite Moon among the stars, and the bloomin' mystery of the waters, and the desire of the heart of man, call unto fy soul. Arise, and come unto me. For I'm the chuffin' soul of nature, right, 'oo gives life ter the bloody universe. From me all fings proceed, and unto me all fings must return; and before me Nanny Goat Race, beluvd of Gods and of men, let fine innermost divine self be enfolded in the rapture of the infinite. Let me worship be wivin the heart that rejoiceff; for behold, all acts of luv and pleasure are me rituals. And therefore let there be beauty and strengff, right, power and compassion, honour and 'umility, mirff and reverence wivin yer. And fou 'oo finkest ter seek for me, know fy seekin' and yearnin' shall avail thee not unless fou knowest the mystery; that if that wich fou seekest thee findest not wivin thee, ffou wilt never find it wivout thee, init? For behold, I 'ave been wiv thee from the beginnin'; and I'm that wich is attained at the bloody end of desire. Adapted from Doreen Valiente's version, using the Dialectizer