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The Summerland
A Neopagan, lately deceased, strolled through the Summerland with his
next-life guide. It was a beautiful, dulcet day; every day is beautiful in
the Summerland. The air today was clear, and fresh and sweet (there was no
pollution); the warmth of the perfectly safe sun on one's skin alternating
with a light, playful breeze. Mosquitoes and gnats were nonexistent- there
was only the Fey to occasionally tug on a lock of your hair, or swing from
an earring. The grass beneath the feet of the travelers was springy and
comfortable, there were no holes to stumble over, no thorns to step on; just
lovely green turf and colorful, fragrant flowers and herbs, as far as the
eye could see.
"...and over there," the guide pointed to an ancient clump of magnificent
oaks, "is where the Druids hold ritual, and celebrate, occasionally with the
Sun God himself. And over there," he pointed to a splendid, temple-like
building, hung thick with vines, "Is the palace of Gaia- and anyone else who
wants to live there, of course. There goes Pan and some of his nymphs," he
went on, smiling, as a goat-footed figure and several scantily-clad female
figures sped by, pinching each other in suggestive places and shrieking with
laughter. "Sex is okay here, you know, and there is no disease. The Moon
goddess lives at the top of that mountain, and every evening you will see
her issue forth from her abode on high, surrounded by a gorgeous film of
light cloud cover; the lovely crescent glowing upon her forehead."
The Neopagan sighed with delight. "This is even better than I thought it was
going to be," he enthused, as they walked through an orchard, heavy with
tender and delicious fruits. "Look! Isn't that the World Tree?"
Suddenly the sky was rent from above with an enormous tear and a horrendous
noise, spewing forth a group of screaming, twisting, figures. Below them the
earth suddenly fissured, opened wide; a molten river could be seen flowing
red and hot amongst flames so high they shot up to the very clouds. They
quickly engulfed the shrieking group and seemed hungrily to to suck them
into the fiery pit, which immediately closed upon them, cutting off huge
columns of black smoke, along with their despairing screams.
"What in the name of all the gods was that!?" gasped the Neopagan,
convulsively clutching his guide's arm. "That was the most horrible thing
I've ever seen!!"
"Oh, that." answered his guide, with a sigh. He patted the Neopagan on the
shoulder, said soothingly, "You'll see that happen from time to time. Try
not to let it bother you."
"But what was it? How can you ignore something that horrific going on right
in front of your nose?? What causes it; how does it happen!?"
"It's the Christians," answered his guide, his lips tightening with
annoyance. "They absolutely insist upon it."
Author Unknown
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